“Does a Kind Person Tend to Be Bullied by Others?”
“Does a kind person tend to be bullied by others?”
Often I hear people say to me, “You really should not be so naive and kind. No wonder you are bullied and taken advantage of by others all the time!”
This became my thinking too in the past. That was why I had distorted understanding on many things. I always thought, “He bullied me so much. This is definitely because I am too honest and too kind in behaving as a person…” Thus, I tried to force myself to become strong and intrepid. Eventually I even became vexatious! However, is this really what I should do?
Under a certain karmic opportunity, I met a person who became a fine friend of mine. He often spoke to me some principles and reasoning of Buddhism. Later he led me to the Buddha hall he goes to. There, I had the opportunity to listen to the recorded dharma discourses expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III. Through listening to the recorded dharma discourses, I became much happier, more open- and broad-minded, and mentally freer and at ease! I also learned that learning Buddhism is not limited to occasionally practicing the dharma, burning incense to respect the Buddha, or attending dharma assemblies to be a part of the ceremony. We also need to cultivate ourselves. Cultivation can enable us to transform causality!
I mentioned earlier my idea of forcing myself to appear strong and intrepid to avoid being harmed by others. However, is it necessary to do so? Is the harm from others really due to our being kind? After listening to the recorded dharma discourses expounded by H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, I learned that everything and all phenomena arise from causality, including of course the good and adversary karmic conditions between people. If we generate resentment and hatred or even take harmful actions against the other side when subjected to bullying or unfair treatment, wouldn’t another evil cause be seeded, which we have to pay for through suffering the malicious consequence?! Then, wouldn’t the vicious process continue forever without an end?! Also, since the situation could be due to the harm I did to the others in a past life time or at a certain time in the past, can forcing myself to be unkind make the evil causes I planted in the past disappear?! The answer is definitely no because the law of causality never errs.
With the above learning and understanding, when subjected to insult, bullying, or unfair treatment, I now know to beseech Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to bless this person with happiness, joy, and absence of afflictions! I can act even better toward this person and avoid hostile confrontations. Gradually, doing so has become my habit. I no longer need to pretend to be strong. I feel freer and more at ease in life and, of course, I am happier than before.
I am grateful to H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III!
Written by: Xiao Chao
Hua Zang Si in San Francisco：www.huazangsi.org
Hua Zang Si Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/huazangsi